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Couples Counseling

RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE HEALED

Sometimes partners (business, personal and romantic) have a struggle with communication, not feeling seen, heard or understood. 
 
So what are “partners”? We are all partners in many relationships at all times in our lives. They may be relatives, someone you divorced but are co-parenting with, business relationships which can be very tricky, romantic couples, roommates and platonic couples and, of course, friendships.
 
Old wounds never resolved can fester for years and contribute significantly to trust issues and the lack of intimacy.  Many people have differing backgrounds, unspoken assumptions, different financial approaches, sexual satisfaction needs, conflicted feelings or other concerns.
 
I work with couples by creating a safe, neutral space where individuals can be fully themselves and can be heard – sometimes for the first time. Healthy communication can be established that serves both needs better. Working through anger, misunderstanding or the distance that time has created can be solved by fixing and not tearing down. 
 
We often are hurt by our partners but cannot discuss it calmly or fairly – or even stand to stay in the room – when in your own space. With clinical assistance you may find that your assessment of what your partner does/did, or neglected to do, involved reasons and concerns that are totally unknown to you. Through understanding comes much healing. 
 
Most couples work involves what happens next when your partner does not meet your needs. I work from a Solutions approach initially to ease tension so that finding answers and satisfying compromise is possible. Solutions Therapy rests on the principal that if it’s working, do more of it. If it’s not working do less. This simple mantra the first week or two can work wonders in de-escalating the tension so healing work can progress faster.
 
All relationships go through changes.  Those who have been together for some time go through "Life Stages of Change" whether they want to or not. These can be negotiated rather quickly when acknowledged and changes and adjustments are not resisted. It doesn’t have to be so hard, or feel so lonely.
 
Bonds can be improved, wounds can be healed and appreciation restored. Joy can be restored too. The fact that you are interested in improving your situation is the important first step. You are already braver than you think and you are already improving your situation by taking action and no longer ignoring, or just living with the problem.  Congratulations.