WHY IS GOOD SELF ESTEEM SO IMPORTANT?
Nearly everyone will agree that good self-esteem is a valuable attribute, probably necessary for success. But, can they define it? Can they tell you reliably how to get it? What is self-esteem?
The pertinent questions are:
What do you really think of yourself? How do you judge the overall value of your worth as a person? Is it negatively? Do you compare yourself to others and find you are lacking? Is your path in life heading where you want to go with relative ease and confidence?
People with poor self-esteem generally suffer from moderate to severe lack of confidence in their ability to interact successfully in social situations and in personal ones as well, causing them to feel inadequate and, often, chronically unhappy or anxious. Do you suffer from low self-esteem? It’s very important to note that serious issues with self-esteem should be assessed by a licensed clinician who is educated, trained and experienced with treating matters that damage the quality of life you are able to enjoy and your relationships.
Here is a listing of some of the symptoms that are common to low self-esteem sufferers. You can review, and check those you feel pertinent, to determine how many you feel are an issue for you so that you can discuss these with your therapist to see if self-esteem is the problem, or if, perhaps, it’s something else.
- Inability to assert oneself
- Lack of confidence in a variety of situations
- Relationship problems
- Self-neglect, lack of hygiene or failure to dress nicely, which lowers self-esteem further
- Inability to accept compliments and just say, “Thank you.”
- Employment difficulties, lack of promotion or appreciation of your contributions
- Health issues related to self-esteem, lack of self-care and more serious health concerns
- Failure to accept challenges or new situations/people if at all possible
- Difficulty making decisions or sticking with them once decided upon
- Personality Disorders can be more worrisome in conjunction with low self-esteem
- Dependent behaviors may occur when you don’t feel your decisions or ideas are worthy
- Blaming others when your self-worth will not allow criticism to lower opinion further
- Bravado or outbursts of anger to hide fear and end the conversation focusing on you
- Lack of accurate assessment of looks and body (body image distortion)
- Isolate or behave in ways causing friends to label you a “flake” for not showing up
- Inability to speak up for yourself or give opinions successfully
- Generally critical of others, suspicious or overly negative and pessimistic
- Unable to ask for what you really want
- Not expecting good things or a good life will be yours
- Criticizing (silently) others as not really being “good” so you feel better about yourself
-People suffering from low self-esteem can find it very difficult to accept criticism and can be very defensive, sometimes dramatically so. This can cause them not to listen openly or accurately, and to shut out helpful comments, which can be very problematic for employment success and close relationships.
-In my practice, I find that persons with addiction issues, chemical dependency, self-medicating and eating disorders predictably suffer from low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem can be treated by a variety of modalities. Common ones used are Solution Focused, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy), Family or Couples Counseling, and sometimes Anger Management, Holistic means, Spirituality and more. At Valentino Therapy in Sausalito, CA, I serve individuals from throughout the San Francisco Bay Area with the therapy, modality, or mixture, that best serves your personality and needs. Success, solutions and sensitivity are critical. You will be treated with unconditional positive regard, which was likely missing repeatedly from early life experiences or you might not be feeling the need to be reading this information. Life can be better. You don’t have to feel anxious, inadequate or not good enough. Get help and get on with your own path towards a good life.
Call or e-mail today for an appointment for support and assistance to get what you want and need.
Do you have self-esteem issues? Click here, Self-Esteem Self Test, to find out.